Rebellion

Seasons are changing again and it is hard not to notice that time in moving on as well...it isn't something you can run from...acceptance with a dash of embracement is the easiest path.

I haven't been blogging as much lately but that isn't necessarily a bad thing.   It just means that I have putting effort in other places. 

I did take some time to re-read some of my past blog entries and I think I am truly my worst critic.  I cringe every time I see something wrong with grammar or even spelling.

I seem to make lots of mistakes in my writing.  It is like my brain thinks one thing and my fingers type something totally different. 

This finger rebellion has to stop...I guess I could take the time to read over everything before publishing but it seems like I don't catch the mistakes when I do that...maybe my brain is just protecting something more precious.

 I really don't see the mistakes until I come back later and by that time the damage has been done.  My perfectly assembled thought is now a flawed sentence out in the world of cyberspace.

I guess the best solution is not to re-read any of my blog entries after I have published them...you know they say "ignorance is bliss"...

Address This

Do you remember the thrill of getting a letter in the mail?

Nowadays the only letters I receive in the mail are bills and junk mail.  I guess you really can't call them letters, those things are more like statements and flyers...

In this hurry-up world, I guess email has been crowned the king.  We want everything instantly and we have forgotten that sometimes anticipation is what makes your breathing unsteady and your pulse to quicken...ultimately leading to results that are even more satisfying than you can imagine.

So I can safely say, I do miss reading that hand-written letter even if part of the adventure is figuring out the sloppiness of the penmanship and deciphering the true meaning of the written words.  Even this makes everything feel more human.

I know this form of communication is slowly dying out but it really is shame to see it go.  I won't let it stop with~ it is time to take a stand..or at least a pen in my hand...and write something worthy of deciphering...I just need to know what address to send it to...

Strategy

You will need to develop a strategy when dealing with online drama.   You really only have two options...fight or flight. 

To fight, means to call people out when they are wrong or to fight back blow for blow or word for word.  This sounds like the best option.  This feels like it would make you strong but when you retaliate, even for a good cause the lines between right and wrong can get blurred.  You can become like the one you are defending yourself against.

I know the difference between right and wrong and if I am protecting someone I care about, I do not hesitate to fight back even if it means sacrificing myself.   If I were to watch myself in a mirror during those times, I am positive I would not recognize myself.  I think we all are like this when it comes to people we care about but what about a complete stranger?

Why do I have to explain my actions?  I was asked why I don't condemn people for unscrupulous actions.  Why don't I call them out and tell them what they are doing is wrong? 

There are times, that I just want to blend in to the crowd and I don't want to make myself a target.  I would say that I chose to walk away more than I stand my ground when the people that are being targeted are people that I don't know.

 I wonder if that makes me coward because I don't always fight.  I don't walk away because of some noble reason...simply because I think it is an easier path.  I know I am strong, why do I have to prove it to people who don't know who I really am. Why do I have to always be the hero and not allowed to be a bystander like the rest around me?

In life we must always decide to fight or walk away, I can't say I haven't regretted a decision but I can say that I have always done what I think is right even if you cannot understand why.  I will keep making decisions that I feel are right and that minimize the damage or drama around me.  You don't have to agree with me, just know in my mind...it is the right strategy in that moment..

The Game

I find that with each passing day the time I spend online diminishes...I wonder if I will ever get to the point of not coming here anymore.

This online world I created for myself has really changed throughout the years.  I can recall the naivety of my youth as I navigated though it.  

I have learned a lot of hard lessons about myself and others in this place.  

I believe that you need to challenge yourself in life in order to grow and I know this online world can be very challenging at times...not the fundamentals just the emotional baggage that comes from the drama.

The online world is like a horror show, it makes your heart pound and your pulse quicken but no matter how scared your are...you still don't look away.

You learn that people guard their true selves behind self-created masks.  The masks tend to be extreme, depicting images too good or bad to be true...so you walk this world with skepticism or distrust.

I have been charmed by the best charlatans and I was reeled in hook, line and sinker.  I have never regretted my choice to venture here but I have noted the time I have lost wrapped up in this online world.

My life is just different now...not better or worse.  I came online originally to play a game of chess...and I discovered chatting between the chess moves until I disregarded the game and focused on the conversations instead...now I look around years later and I have to wonder...do you want to play a game?

The Rain

No matter how much time you spend planning, sometimes you just have to be flexible in life because you know things are not going to turn out as you expect.

I went camping last weekend and I was definitely had everything planned and packed for the occasion.  I think one of the things I love is problem solving solutions for various, unexpected problems and for some reason camping lends to a great need to problem solve.

The forecast was for rain so I had to alter my plan slightly to accommodate this change.  I purchased a few more tarps and even got a canopy to put over the picnic table so we could enjoy a dry place to eat.

Actually, the first night was flawless...well, that is to say... most of the night.  Apparently the tents started leaking due the heavy rains and we ended up with a lot of water in the tents.   Almost all the gear was soaked.  I was lucky enough to stay dry but the rest of my friends didn't fair too well. 

The ones that didn't have any dry clothes were relegated to picking from what I had, so either it didn't fit or it didn't match, so most of my friends ended up being scantily clad wrapped in dry blankets. 

I decided that we couldn't spend another night camping in the rain because they really needed dry clothes so we ended up packing up early and heading home.

I have learned that my friends are not really ready for experiencing the outdoors.  This is the second trip were we ended up going home early because they have not been prepared.  I guess I just need to pack and prepare for all of them or just go alone next time.   I guess I could also just pick days were there is not record cold temperatures or torrential rains.  

I am thinking we just toss a tent in the jeep and head out under the stars on a warm crisp night...maybe less planning is better...  

Under the Stars

The leaves are starting to change colors and the whole world seems a bit colder...it is time to pack up and adventure into the wilderness...that's right, time for camping!

I am going though my camping gear today because next weekend I will be spending my time outside and I really am looking forward to it.  I heard the trails were good for biking so for once I am going to bring my bike.  Now the question is, am I ready to put a bike rack on the back of my car?

I am not sure what you do when you camp but I am not one to rent a cabin or yurt.  I like to pitch a tent.  I do have some luxuries of home when I camp.  I bring an air mattress because frankly I don't have to prove anything anymore and who cares if I sleep directly on that ground or under a little fluff and circumstance.  I love cuddling in a sleeping bag...even if it is with a warm comfy blanket.  The weather is suppose to be nice so I don't have to worry about hypothermia this time.

Deciding what to cook is another vital camping decision.  I like a lot of variety in my meals even when I am in the middle of a forest.  I will make scrambled eggs in ziplock bags and crisp bacon for breakfast.  Lunch or dinner will bring campfire stir-fry and baked apples.  If I catch any fish, I will grill those as well.  Enjoying good food while you are outdoors is a must.

I am hoping to enjoy hiking, fishing, biking, and watching the moon and stars on this camping trip~ see you out there...

Escape

Have you ever just unplugged your electronic life for awhile and just blended into the scenery?  

I think we get so wrapped up in our digital world that we sometimes forget about the living, breathing world around us.  

Do you think we are becoming colder because we do not embrace the warmth around us?  

I know they say it is a choice~ but I am not sure it always a choice that we can actually make.

I have spent a lot of time lately just staring into the nothingness, trapped behind invisible walls, unplugged from my world and yet still plotting my escape~

I have become weak with the lack of challenges, always relying on something besides myself.  I have become tired with the endless sameness of the routines.  I have grown restless again, not satisfied with the ebb and flow of current events...

I can recognize the helplessness of the situation and I can control the fix and dodge the temptation of complacency...I can embrace the warmth and turn my back to the cold because knowing what to do...is the first step to changing~