Sunday, November 5, 2017


It's colder now and it is time to pack away the summer dresses and pull out something a little warmer..

As the days grow shorter, I always get a little melancholy.  It is like my emotions are tied to the brightness of the sun and when it starts to fade so does my smile.  I haven't always been like that but things don't always stay the same...

I have been riding the merry-go-round way too much lately and it is definitely time to jump off...and camping with friend seems like a good solution.

We are going to a state park so I am not really "roughing" it but I am staying in a tent so I am going to say it counts.  The state park is a good choice because we have a lot of activities to pick from like hiking, boating, fishing, canoeing, and kayaking.

I think we will spend most of time huddled around the camping fire sharing stories, song and drinks~

I am sure I will do most of the cooking because of all my friends I have the most camping/cooking experience.  I am hoping that we catch a lot of fish~ yes, I do know how to clean and prepare ~

Saturday, September 23, 2017

The Park

The Chatroom

I sit in front of my keyboard looking at a blank page and wondering what I could possibly type today.

There have been so many things going on lately that I am not even sure where to begin.  When things aren't going my way, I usually seek out this place to write down my thoughts and in a way settle things in my mind.

Writing isn't the only outlet I use.  I also walk...usually there is no destination, I just put on my shoes and head out~ but I always seem to end up at a park.  A secluded place surrounded by trees and in the very center there are a few pieces of playground equipment...swings, a slide, a merry-go-round, and a metal creature on a spring that you can ride~

So alone in the dark, I sit on top of the slide and I look toward that stars.  I feel safe and I can think.  Lately, I have been thinking about my expectations and what I want.  I have been forging my life in a certain way~ because I thought that is what expected~but does it make me happy~ I seem to spend a lot of time thinking about this~ and I don't think this is something that should require this much thought~ aren't you just "happy"~not a thought but a feeling...

I decided to change how I was doing things~ and then, I was dealt a harsh blow~ it took my breath away...and I am still reeling from the repercussions~ just when I decided to change on my own~ everything did..just not in the way I ever wanted...I can never do what I wanted to do~ this makes me feel powerless and out of control~ something I have never been comfortable with...

I am left with a world in chaos and I am trying to find some peace.  When I look up at the stars, I am reminded that I am just a small speck in such a vast place...but somehow knowing this makes me happy~ maybe things aren't as significant as I think...I mean look~ my once blank page is now filled with words...and you were here to read them...thank you my friend~ for your support~

Tuesday, August 22, 2017


The Chatroom

When I was younger, I use to have binders filled with pictures and memorable things...I would even take the time to write captions and add stickers to dress everything up~ I guess you could say my memories were all wrapped up with a pretty little bow~

Over the years...these binders are not the same, things have faded and some of those precious items have even been all that work making them look so special was worthless in the end~

If I don't remember that precious memory, does that mean it didn't happen?  Maybe I just don't want to remember, maybe it is just too painful...

There are so many gaps in my past that I am not sure if I will ever fill them in~ but I have accepted that reality.

I truly believe that even if memories fade~ the emotions that walked beside them will always be woven into the heart and mind~ I may not remember all the details but I will always feel their affects~ so lead with your heart if you cannot fill your mind...

Friday, August 4, 2017


The Chatroom

I haven't been myself a lot lately~ mostly because I have a lot of things on my mind.  I was living life above the clouds and not once did I look down..until that day.  I can tell you the exact moment in time when my world came crashing down and I know I will never be the same again.

Life is so full of twists and turns.  You can't predict when you are going to hit a road block and the only certainty in life is that you will most definitely, hit one.

Now, I must re-adjust to my new latitude and figure out how to find my wings and soar once again.

I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out a plan, trying to map out my next move but no matter how much time I put in to this, nothing seems right and I find myself starting over again and again.  I have decided to stop this madness because we both know it is not working.

When we are hurting, when tend to find a place that is safe to lick our wounds and recharge but for me, safety isn't a luxury I have.

I feel alone in a sea of smiling faces.  I know this is not the end of everything but I am finished with making plans and trying to get back to where I once was...I have accepted that I have to invest in a sturdy pair of shoes, because the long walk has just begun...

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Toxic People

The Chatroom

What kind of people do you surround yourself with?  Do they help or hinder you?

Recently, I read an article about toxic people and it got me thinking about the people around me...

First of all, what does it mean to be toxic...well, I am talking about the toxic part of their "behavior" and the drama they create in your life.  Dealing with such an individual can be both difficult and draining.  So, how do you spot one?

Here are some signs of a toxic person: They spread negativity; They criticize you and others; They are jealous; They keep disappointing you; Everything is always dramatic; They play the victim; They are self-centered; They aren't interested in changing.

Do you know anyone that fits the bill here?  If so, what do you do...well, start with taking out a mirror and reflect on what trait makes you such easy prey...assessment just allows you to strengthen any weaknesses.  I not suggesting that you take the blame for their bad behavior but that you learn "why" this is happening so that you can stop it.

Toxic people are manipulators and abuse both emotionally and verbally~ you do not need these type of people in your life.  Plan your exit strategy and just get may seem cruel but over time you will realize the benefits when you are smiling again~ 

My best advise is to always trust your gut~ trust yourself and your judgment...don't dwell on excuses or try to rationalize someone else's bad behavior.  You have to take care of yourself first~ good luck 

Sunday, July 16, 2017


The Chatroom

Did you know that words can literally activate chemical processes that affect us at every level~ emotional, physical, mental~  This can point us in a direction of being successful and happy or one that leads to failure and distress...

You must know that conversations are essential to else can we maintain relationships, build trust, or even bring pleasure to others and ourselves~

I guess that means that being able to communicate effectively is probably the most important basic skill that someone needs to have in order to survive in society.

I have an arsenal of words at my fingertips and it is up to me to pick the ones I use...I can be hurtful, offensive or even down right rude...but I can also heal, praise and compliment~ knowing how and when to use your words helps shape the kind of person you are and what people think about you...

The choice is yours my friend~ pick your words carefully...there is more at stake that you can imagine, especially in our online world...

Thursday, July 13, 2017

The Star

The Chatroom

You hold me in place~ in my world you are my sky...

I can always see my brightness reflected in your eyes...

 I always soar high above the clouds because I can defy gravity when I am wrapped in your embrace.
In your presence, I burn hotter and shine brighter than anyone else around me.  My confidence pulsates in your direction and I can feel my heart quickening with each whisper of your steal my breath with each passing day...

I give to you my total self, to have and to hold....but where am I in your world...will my brightness someday fade~

Even if I am not always at my brightest, I will always shine for you because your are sky and I am your star...and we hold each other in our world~