Space

A place to visit: Lounge

 How far are we apart?  We may be just be a breath away but each grain of sand that separates us might as well be a mountain...because you are so far out of my reach...

No matter how great the space is between us, you are never far from my mind...when I close my eyes I see where I want you to be~ by my side...and I cannot help but smile.

I have learned that wishing, hoping and dreaming are just words that fill the void of what we think we want.  It is an action that will bring things into being.

 For now, just the distance of a keyboard can fill the space between us~ I don't need to feel your hand against my cheek to be touched by you for I can find my inspiration is just a few simple words...

I cannot live in this place forever.  I will need to find the action in my words for us to truly be together but until then I will dwell here, armed and ready for you to close the distance...between us~

Thrust

Find me here: The Place

  I wonder why someone would feel compelled to thrust me into the forefront of their conversation.  It is not like I have performed some amazing feat or frankly, been lurking around much lately.  I guess the times call for a re-airing of events from the past and with any past, things get dug up when you sift through the dirt.

I heard that people were talking about me when I wasn't around.  Most of the things that were shared with me were either exaggerations or just plain outright lies...

It is not the talking behind my back that rubs me the wrong way, it is how I have been approached by total strangers.  They like telling me that they have heard this and that about me, like a cat with a mouthful of canary.

I look back and I know I haven't always made the right choices and maybe they do have the right to talk but I think that is the same with anyone, let's hold up the mirror and see.

I am in a very different place now and  I know I have to let some things go.  I will just continue to write what pleases me and let the silent whispers fade into the background...

Airport

Chat for All~ A whole new world

Speaking of airports~

Thanks to mother nature most the east coast airports were shut down for a bit yesterday~ and wouldn't you know that would be the day that I decided to travel~

I ended up spending more than six hours in the airport before my flight was even boarded~ and landing at my destination only minutes before the rental car place was about to close for the day~ so let's just say~ it was a very interesting travel day for me...

So, what do you do to keep yourself busy in an airport when the wait feels like forever~

Here are some things that I tried~ I hope they will help if you ever find yourself in this situation...

1.  Wander around aimlessly~ take in the sights and even work on your cartography skills~

2.  Visits all the bars~ and see how many people you can get to buy you a drink~ this is especially challenging when you are traveling in your comfy clothes with no makeup and your hair is in a ponytail~

3.  Write a blog~ about writing blogs~ maybe the irony will get lost in the process~

4.  Practice your CPR skills at the American Red Cross Hands-Only Training Kiosks~ this is a must experience ~

5.  Smile~ and talk to strangers~ especially ones you would never cross paths with ever again~

6.  Flirt with the all the security and support staff~ you never know when a little kindness can get you on your flight a little more quickly~

7.  Grab your camera~ and take some insane pictures~ sometimes that best ones are the ones you have to get on the floor to take~

8.  Stare at people~ remember DO NOT break eye contact~

9.  Read, read , read...anything with words~ just don't do it out loud if you don't want dirty looks from the people around you~

10.  Bring a deck of cards~ play some high end poker~ you might even win enough for a small little souvenir of your time at the airport~


I hope you never get stuck in an airport for 6 hours or even over night~ but if you do~ stay positive~ and remember~ everything happens for a reason~ you never know who you might meet~

The Wall

A place to vent: gochatting.com

THE WAILING WALL

Have you been wronged?
Have you been picked on?
You're not the only one!!

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
(or to whoever gives a damn enough to read this)
"Cortigiani, Vil Razza Dannata" -Rigoletto
I outrank you all. I'm outta here. I'll be back when and if I'm needed. Oh and I adhere to laugh "Mister. I am the Pope, this might be your church, right now I'm the Pope of Greenwich Village 'cause I got the tape alright?" - The Pope of Greenwich Village If this looks familiar...it is what was left on the Wall today...I do not know if it is gone for good or just taking a temporary hiatus.  I think people have asked what is the wall for many years now and I am NOT the one to give all the details... I can just tell you what it was and is for me.   Many, many years ago, I heard about this place in the whispers of chat...it was a place that only a select few knew about and you actually had to know someone to get the address.  Its secrecy was always intriguing.  After discovering this place, I read the wall for months before I ever had the courage to actually post.  It was the gossip and yellow journalism at its worse or best depending on how you saw things.   I remember getting upset about the things I saw there, especially if my name was included~ and friends would always ask why I went there or why did read the wall~ it would be much better not to go~ but still I read.  Over time, it was less of a secret but more of a topic starter in chat~ did you hear this and that...people would also flock there to see the exclusive picture page of some that never seem to post pictures in profiles...but later that all came down...   It was a place you could say whatever you wanted about whomever you wanted, it was hateful and cruel at times and very repetitive.  There was the famous freud of the HatFrieds and McCoopers that was legendary...and still goes on as we speak...it is the home of the mighty "Ball Of Words" that only Fried and his many personas could do...it was Kristi's sharp and critical rebuttals to the crazy conspiracy theories...it was the master of the archive that could find any past post with ease...it was a place where Clive always had something to say~ and sometimes without saying a thing~ it was where she who shall not be named and invisible ink~ was coined...it was a place for anger and laughs... It is also responsible for keeping some of us together after the great fall of chatting.com.  If it was this horrible place, why am I sad to see it gone, because you should know by now that I protect the right for anyone to be able to express what they want~ even if I do not like it or agree with it~ remember you decide how it affects you~  I hope Clive reconsiders shutting down the Wall~ because you should always leave on your own terms~ and not quit because someone did not like how you did things~  You have my support~ whatever you decide...

Light

Find me: Chat Fantasy

I heard the battle cry off in the distance...and I prepared myself to fight...

You learn a lot about yourself when you are provoked.  How do you respond when you are cornered?  Do you lash out or do you run?

The hardest part for me is controlling my emotions....anger, hurt and sadness, all roll into one~ and the feelings were overwhelming~ I knew I had to take control and find my true self...

I gathered my courage to confront you and I stood my ground.  I know neither of us won this battle but I am proud that I didn't back away, that I looked you in the eye.

I see the reason behind your words.  I did listen between blows and I understand how you were protecting me.  I will heed your words cautiously~ and I will stay true to myself.

I didn't feel alone in battle~ I felt the strength of those around me and I am grateful for their warmth during the coldness of it all~

I know I will hear the battle cry again~ but next time~ I will be ready...

Darkness

Visit my world: Chat Lounge

I could really just scream right now because I don't know how to fight this frustration I feel inside...so close to tears that all I can do is just walk away...and you have to know,  I hardly ever cry.

What about today was so hard~ it wasn't even the words that I have heard a thousand times before..Why did you do it~

Stop pointing your finger my way~ I haven't done anything of the things you keep accusing me of...I am not that complex or that calculating.
I know it really doesn't matter what I say~ my words fall upon deaf ears.   I keep hoping~ that the ones that count know the truth~ but I don't know what to think anymore...this constant barrage of insults and theories is beginning to take its toll~ the burden to great to carry~

I keep grappling with the idea of just leaving~ I keep questioning why I am here~ It isn't like my presence in this place even makes a difference...

Can't you see why I am here...there is so much negative in the world~why make this place that way too...

You don't know the paths that people walk, you don't know what they carry along the way~ and at the end of the day~ we escape...I just want to smile and have fun~ to enjoy our time together...to be the light in a sea of darkness...

I haven't always thought that way~ through a serious of unfortunate events I was knocked of my self proclaimed pedestal~ I didn't just lay on the ground, helpless and wallowing...someone helped me up~ and lit my path...I was so grateful for the kindness that surrounded me~ that I embraced all that I could~

I want to smile again~ in the light...I just don't know how to do that right now...

Downfall

Find me here: Chatatonic

What kind of person are you my troll?  You make threats and toss about my personal information like you know me.  Are you trying to scare me or are you trying to control me?

My advice to you is do your worse...if you think you can destroy my career then go for it...if you want to show up at my door, make sure you bring cookies....if you want to put a bullet through my head then just shoot~

I can't control my fate...if my world is going to spin out of control because of you so be it~ I am not afraid anymore...I have been beaten down enough, my bloody body left for dead. Your punches are just a drop in a vast ocean...My pulse still stirs and I am still hanging on with every fiber of my being~

I have to wonder this my troll~why did you choose to attack...what have I ever done to you~ I am open and honest about who I am because people need to see that not everyone is here to tear you down, but to build you up~ I want to create something in all the chaos...and so many here are lost~

I hope you decide to stop threatening me~ but I can't force you to do anything...you are given a choice...which path will you take?

I will stand before you and I will not run away~ you have the gun in your pocket~ will you pull the trigger?

Destination

You can stalk me here: Chategories

We all are traveling on different roads, going in different directions with different destinations~ but somehow we all ended up here.

Somehow we all decide to veer from our intended path and come to this place.  We were meant to meet here, but why?

We are total strangers but we can still enjoy a drink together and share some laughter.  We can't stay here forever~ we still have places to go but it is always nice to stop by and stay for a bit~

Everyday~ the roads out there are the same~ we are still going in different directions with different destinations~ but we still find ourselves here~

Our we trapped on pathway that loops here indefinitely or will we someday just lose the desire come here?

I asked you earlier~ to explain why?  I know I was meant to meet you here today...you needed to read these words.  You needed to know you are not alone~ there is always a place for you here...even when you don't need it anymore.

No matter where your road leads~ I will always be waiting for you~ with something to drink and a warm smile~ just don't be a stranger...

The Beginning

My latest addiction: Chatastophy

I built a time machine today and the hardest part was deciding where I wanted to go.

My first thought was to go back to the beginning, the place where we first met.  This time, I saw you coming before you even notice me.  I watched you closely.  You were exactly how I remembered you, nothing had changed but that is the problem, I know how this will end.  Now, I need time to think because this place isn't the right place for me to be...

I ended up in a garden somewhere in my future.  My still body sprawled across the beautiful backdrop of all nature had to offer.  I watched the clouds change into different apparitions and listened to the whispers of their voices in the wind.  As I gazed upon my future, I saw everything that would be and in that moment a sudden flash of light alerted me to my understanding and I knew exactly what I should I do.

I traveled back to that day, the one I call today, but this time I decided where I wanted to go...Maybe I will build a time machine today...

Ocean

You can chat with me here: Chatalicious

Have you ever typed something and wondered why people react the way they do?

I have often been totally confused by someone's response to something I posted and surprisingly this seems to happen a lot.  Sometimes they elicit such strong feelings that I have to take the time and figure out what and why it is going wrong.  Plus, women are emotional creatures (so I have been accused of many, many times) which means the likelihood of miscommunication is probably high.

Communicating online can be even more complicated because typing lacks the emotion needed for clear understanding and without these social cue..you can't show sarcasm, anger or love in the simple strokes of the keyboard.  Sometimes icons can help but who has a pocketful of those when you need one.

So, how do you straighten out a misunderstanding of communication?

I guess the best advice I can give is not to (I am not following my own advice right now) run away from the problem and work it out by simplifying the conversation.

Start from the beginning and make sure both parties are on the same page and seem to have a clear understanding before proceeding.  This is probably the most important part.  Ask many questions, until you can pinpoint where everything tipped off balance.

However, even if you sort the conversation.  It doesn't mean you will alway see eye to eye.

I can't promise 100% chance of success but 94.6% of the time the problem will work its way out with just a small melding of the mind and then everyone is all ~smiles~

Good luck~ I hope your commination never ends in misunderstanding~ and I hope the ocean sees the value of the moon~ =)

Umbrella

You can chat with me here: Our Chat

Do you think you have the right to say whatever you want?

I guess if you believe in free speech that means you have to allow people to say what they want, even if you do not like what they have to say.  It may seem like it protects the haters but when you start deciding where the line is...then the freedom is surely lost.

I don't always like all the things that I hear around me and especially when those hateful words are directed at me, but I would never risk not letting them say what they want about any topic.  I can choose to ignore or even walk away if what they say bothers me too much.

It is very difficult at times, to just ignore but sometimes you have to be stronger than the words that hold you down.  So let the hate spill out~ for freedom's sake but let me use my umbrella of common sense to protect myself from the words I do not like...

Let freedom ring and the tongues wag~

The Pretender

You can find me at Chat.

Do you always have to pretend with me?  Why do you insist on being something you are clearly not?

I know you are a chameleon and you change with the company you keep.  You are so buried in layers I am not sure you even know what lies beneath.

I accept that your spot are always changing and that I will never get through your strategically placed defenses, but I still have hope that one day you will not feel the need to pretend anymore.  I hope that you will be able to recognize yourself when that times comes...

Until then, I will play these silly mind games with you.  I will let you keep you this facade.  You keep coming back so you must be here for a reason.  Fooling others must give you a great satisfaction and it must keep you fulfilled.

I just want you to know that you do not have to pretend with me~ I can accept the harsh reality of what lies beneath...

My World

You can chat with me at gochatting.com.

If you want me to invite you into my world, there are a few things you need to know about me.

You should know that my universe is a circle, inviting and continuous and it is tiered, layered to protect all that I hold dear.

You should that a large circle of friends surround me, these are the voices of those that have reached out to me or those that have pulled me towards them.  I know each by name and the tidbits of his/her reality and this I can regurgitate on command.  My friends lift me up when I fall.  I am always reaching out so they do not stumble.  It is in the game of Clue where I learn who has my back and who has the knife.  It is here I strive for balance, catch and release: dividing my time, strengthening my ties, adjusting the parachute for the big plunge toward the next layer~

You should know that through this rabbit hole, embedded within are where my closest friends hang out, we debate life's twists and turns, challenge every fiber of being, laugh and cry, and it is also where the undressing begins as we strip down who we are.  We decide if we will take the next step..

You should know that I am very loyal and I do not understand those who are unfaithful.  If you do not like what you see, be up front and honest, this is the time to walk away.

You should know that the next may be the biggest, it is where we stand naked before each other.  My family saw me that way when I was born so I feel confident before them but with others I stand shy and fragile.  We have time to explore each other on this shared journey.  Time to make mistakes, learn, and grow beyond what we can imagine.  I see you for all that you are and all that you will be and I am with you unconditionally.

You should know that I kneel in the center of my world because I have not lost the gravity of the situation, I am not here because of all of you.  We hold each other together.

You should know that all you need to do is reach out and take a step toward my world and I will be waiting with my hand held out...

Cookies

Chat with me here: Go Chat!

You really find out a lot about what people think about you by what they say when you are gone...what tales do they spin~ what mischief to do they have up their sleeves~

Chat can be a place where you unleash your imagination~ there are not boundaries to what you can do or say there~ the world is what you make it...and if you don't like what you have created~ simply logout and come in again~ with a different nick...a new chance to re-invent yourself~

In this fantasy world~ you are only limited to what you can envision~in this world I could be having a secret affair with an ogre~ or have a love child named "oggy" and be one rendezvous away from another~ maybe there is a glimmer of hope for "choggy"~  I can drag out a super-soaker and battle the others in a matrix style fight~ I can bake cookies, pass out snack and open the bar~ to pass the time~

I can also just be me~ I can embrace your friendship and advise you on life~ without asking for payment of course~ I can listen (even though I excel at gabbing)~ I can be there for you...

Come play with me~ let's make this day about laughing and smiling~ let's not think about anything else~ see you there

Tightrope

At the beginning of each post, I will link The New Chatroom.

Today is quiet and still.  There is no one around, just the sound of my thoughts.  I know I am walking on a tight-rope suspended high above the jagged rocks~ all I have to do is keep the balance as I make my way across.

The words seem so simply but the action seems impossible.  Why is it so difficult to find balance in your life~ why is everything always tugging you this way and that?

There is no time limit~ so all I really have to do is put one foot in front of the other to move forward...holding out my arms to steady myself along the way~ eyes to front...focused on my goal. With all my distractions limited~ I will see clearly my intended path and eventually complete the task.

Take a deep breath, gather your courage, focus on your goal and take step in the direction you want to go.  Make the impossible happen~ I know you can do it...

Go.Chatting.Com

There is a new chat place out there and you can find it at http://gochatting.com/.

If you ever want to stop by and say hi~ you will always be welcomed.  If you let me know it is your first time there, I will be sure to give you your "Welcome" basket of goodies and a private tour personally.  How else will you know where the pool tables and hot tubs are located?

This place was built by are really thoughtful guy who wanted all of the lost chatters to find a safe haven...and isn't that what really matters~ of course, there are rumors that this place is just an elaborate hoax to trap unsuspecting chatter for who knows what nefarious reasons~ so are you ready to walk on the wild side of life???

Well~ take my hand and let's explore that path to the wild side together...


This chat place is special to me, mostly because I feel that I have helped improve some things~ I mean really all I did was point out a lot of the problems~ and I guess that helped because slowly, things began to change...for the better~

I have been hanging out there a lot more lately because it has been fun watching the place evolve~ but unfortunately there are not enough "new" people finding where we are...

So I, with no authority given to me, have appointed many chatters as the head of new recruitment~ mind you~ I have told them all that they are the head of this newly made-up division~ so don't let them know that it doesn't really exist~ just our little secret...

Right now we are in the brainstorming phase~ pretty much~ I am letting them do all the storming of the brains and I just record what they think~ hopefully we will come up with a good plan of action to increase the number of new chatters~ when I say "we"...I really mean them~

I hope that this site keeps getting better~ I would like it to be successful~so the only thing I can do~ to help promote it~ is to bring it to my blog~ maybe when you read this~ you might come and join me for a bit~ I would love to get to know you...ummm~ a little better

Casting Spells

Today I learned to cast a spell of protection to keep myself safe.  I must be truly gifted for the barrier that surrounds me cannot be penetrated.  I will never have to fear an impending attack and my defenses will never fail.  I have nothing fear.  I can endure.

I look around and I see those who do not have any talent for casting spells.  I walk with my head held high knowing that they will never be able to protect themselves as well as I can protect myself.  I, I , I...I am the only person I need to rely upon. I can endure.

I look around and I see those who do not have any talent for casting spells and they look so happy. How can you be happy not knowing if you can protect yourself?  I am safe but is this any way to live. I can cast a spell and I can keep everyone out but can I be happy?  I can endure.

I look around and I see those who do not have any talent for casting spells and I am envious.  They cannot protect themselves but they do not care what I think.  They live their lives no matter how I feel about them.  They do not care that I have a talent for casting spells.  They can endure.

I am safe but the sound of this silence is deafening.  I do not care that I have a talent for casting spells.  I just want to feel the fear of and impending attack and I want to worry about my defenses failing.  I want to not care what people think about me.  I want to endure with you by my side.