Faded

The Chatroom

When I was younger, I use to have binders filled with pictures and memorable things...I would even take the time to write captions and add stickers to dress everything up~ I guess you could say my memories were all wrapped up with a pretty little bow~

Over the years...these binders are not the same, things have faded and some of those precious items have even been lost...so all that work making them look so special was worthless in the end~

If I don't remember that precious memory, does that mean it didn't happen?  Maybe I just don't want to remember, maybe it is just too painful...

There are so many gaps in my past that I am not sure if I will ever fill them in~ but I have accepted that reality.

I truly believe that even if memories fade~ the emotions that walked beside them will always be woven into the heart and mind~ I may not remember all the details but I will always feel their affects~ so lead with your heart if you cannot fill your mind...

Clouds

The Chatroom

I haven't been myself a lot lately~ mostly because I have a lot of things on my mind.  I was living life above the clouds and not once did I look down..until that day.  I can tell you the exact moment in time when my world came crashing down and I know I will never be the same again.

Life is so full of twists and turns.  You can't predict when you are going to hit a road block and the only certainty in life is that you will most definitely, hit one.

Now, I must re-adjust to my new latitude and figure out how to find my wings and soar once again.

I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out a plan, trying to map out my next move but no matter how much time I put in to this, nothing seems right and I find myself starting over again and again.  I have decided to stop this madness because we both know it is not working.

When we are hurting, when tend to find a place that is safe to lick our wounds and recharge but for me, safety isn't a luxury I have.

I feel alone in a sea of smiling faces.  I know this is not the end of everything but I am finished with making plans and trying to get back to where I once was...I have accepted that I have to invest in a sturdy pair of shoes, because the long walk has just begun...