Strategy

You will need to develop a strategy when dealing with online drama.   You really only have two options...fight or flight. 

To fight, means to call people out when they are wrong or to fight back blow for blow or word for word.  This sounds like the best option.  This feels like it would make you strong but when you retaliate, even for a good cause the lines between right and wrong can get blurred.  You can become like the one you are defending yourself against.

I know the difference between right and wrong and if I am protecting someone I care about, I do not hesitate to fight back even if it means sacrificing myself.   If I were to watch myself in a mirror during those times, I am positive I would not recognize myself.  I think we all are like this when it comes to people we care about but what about a complete stranger?

Why do I have to explain my actions?  I was asked why I don't condemn people for unscrupulous actions.  Why don't I call them out and tell them what they are doing is wrong? 

There are times, that I just want to blend in to the crowd and I don't want to make myself a target.  I would say that I chose to walk away more than I stand my ground when the people that are being targeted are people that I don't know.

 I wonder if that makes me coward because I don't always fight.  I don't walk away because of some noble reason...simply because I think it is an easier path.  I know I am strong, why do I have to prove it to people who don't know who I really am. Why do I have to always be the hero and not allowed to be a bystander like the rest around me?

In life we must always decide to fight or walk away, I can't say I haven't regretted a decision but I can say that I have always done what I think is right even if you cannot understand why.  I will keep making decisions that I feel are right and that minimize the damage or drama around me.  You don't have to agree with me, just know in my mind...it is the right strategy in that moment..

The Game

I find that with each passing day the time I spend online diminishes...I wonder if I will ever get to the point of not coming here anymore.

This online world I created for myself has really changed throughout the years.  I can recall the naivety of my youth as I navigated though it.  

I have learned a lot of hard lessons about myself and others in this place.  

I believe that you need to challenge yourself in life in order to grow and I know this online world can be very challenging at times...not the fundamentals just the emotional baggage that comes from the drama.

The online world is like a horror show, it makes your heart pound and your pulse quicken but no matter how scared your are...you still don't look away.

You learn that people guard their true selves behind self-created masks.  The masks tend to be extreme, depicting images too good or bad to be true...so you walk this world with skepticism or distrust.

I have been charmed by the best charlatans and I was reeled in hook, line and sinker.  I have never regretted my choice to venture here but I have noted the time I have lost wrapped up in this online world.

My life is just different now...not better or worse.  I came online originally to play a game of chess...and I discovered chatting between the chess moves until I disregarded the game and focused on the conversations instead...now I look around years later and I have to wonder...do you want to play a game?

The Rain

No matter how much time you spend planning, sometimes you just have to be flexible in life because you know things are not going to turn out as you expect.

I went camping last weekend and I was definitely had everything planned and packed for the occasion.  I think one of the things I love is problem solving solutions for various, unexpected problems and for some reason camping lends to a great need to problem solve.

The forecast was for rain so I had to alter my plan slightly to accommodate this change.  I purchased a few more tarps and even got a canopy to put over the picnic table so we could enjoy a dry place to eat.

Actually, the first night was flawless...well, that is to say... most of the night.  Apparently the tents started leaking due the heavy rains and we ended up with a lot of water in the tents.   Almost all the gear was soaked.  I was lucky enough to stay dry but the rest of my friends didn't fair too well. 

The ones that didn't have any dry clothes were relegated to picking from what I had, so either it didn't fit or it didn't match, so most of my friends ended up being scantily clad wrapped in dry blankets. 

I decided that we couldn't spend another night camping in the rain because they really needed dry clothes so we ended up packing up early and heading home.

I have learned that my friends are not really ready for experiencing the outdoors.  This is the second trip were we ended up going home early because they have not been prepared.  I guess I just need to pack and prepare for all of them or just go alone next time.   I guess I could also just pick days were there is not record cold temperatures or torrential rains.  

I am thinking we just toss a tent in the jeep and head out under the stars on a warm crisp night...maybe less planning is better...  

Under the Stars

The leaves are starting to change colors and the whole world seems a bit colder...it is time to pack up and adventure into the wilderness...that's right, time for camping!

I am going though my camping gear today because next weekend I will be spending my time outside and I really am looking forward to it.  I heard the trails were good for biking so for once I am going to bring my bike.  Now the question is, am I ready to put a bike rack on the back of my car?

I am not sure what you do when you camp but I am not one to rent a cabin or yurt.  I like to pitch a tent.  I do have some luxuries of home when I camp.  I bring an air mattress because frankly I don't have to prove anything anymore and who cares if I sleep directly on that ground or under a little fluff and circumstance.  I love cuddling in a sleeping bag...even if it is with a warm comfy blanket.  The weather is suppose to be nice so I don't have to worry about hypothermia this time.

Deciding what to cook is another vital camping decision.  I like a lot of variety in my meals even when I am in the middle of a forest.  I will make scrambled eggs in ziplock bags and crisp bacon for breakfast.  Lunch or dinner will bring campfire stir-fry and baked apples.  If I catch any fish, I will grill those as well.  Enjoying good food while you are outdoors is a must.

I am hoping to enjoy hiking, fishing, biking, and watching the moon and stars on this camping trip~ see you out there...

Escape

Have you ever just unplugged your electronic life for awhile and just blended into the scenery?  

I think we get so wrapped up in our digital world that we sometimes forget about the living, breathing world around us.  

Do you think we are becoming colder because we do not embrace the warmth around us?  

I know they say it is a choice~ but I am not sure it always a choice that we can actually make.

I have spent a lot of time lately just staring into the nothingness, trapped behind invisible walls, unplugged from my world and yet still plotting my escape~

I have become weak with the lack of challenges, always relying on something besides myself.  I have become tired with the endless sameness of the routines.  I have grown restless again, not satisfied with the ebb and flow of current events...

I can recognize the helplessness of the situation and I can control the fix and dodge the temptation of complacency...I can embrace the warmth and turn my back to the cold because knowing what to do...is the first step to changing~ 

The Painting

We start out in life with a blank canvas, void of any images, but instinctually we know we must create a masterpiece.

When we are first learning, we just grab what is closest to us without thought or purpose.  We become lost in the process and we don't take the time to step back and look at what we have created.

As we get older, we start to understand how color and composition work together.  We start to realize that each event in our lives shapes the style, color and image of the subject we are expressing in the simplest of brush strokes~

When I step back and look at what I have created over the years~ my eye catches the light of the dazzling bright hues that cover almost every inch of my canvas.  My heart is illuminated with its brilliance but then I am still drawn to a place different from the rest of my work, a place that is very dark and hovers near in a corner almost lost from my sightline at first glance.

When I see it, I am struck by the contrast of colors and its darkness pulls me in.  I can see where I tried to cover up the blackness but no matter how much I tried to paint over it with bright colors, it still seems rather dull...I know this place has changed my picture so drastically. Why did I paint something that clearly doesn't belong.  I know there is something behind it but why can't I remember what it is..

I don't know if I will ever be truly satisfied with what I have painted.  I know that I have to learn to trust myself so that I won't be afraid to create something beautiful.  I know that I can create something new if I don't like how it looks but it will never be the same, just different and I must embrace all that parts of my painting and accept that I am creating the best painting for myself to enjoy.

So my friend, remember, it is always your choice to determine the tools and colors you use to paint~you control your fate of the picture you paint...

Where will your imagination take you?

Home Coming

Coming home after being away for a long time has its own special feeling...I can't really describe it but there is a calming yet excited feeling when you walk through the door, it is like greeting an old friend.

Before I leave on vacation, I always make sure the house is in tip-top shape.  I wash all the bed coverings and scrub everything from top to bottom so that when I return there is nothing to do but unpack...

While on vacation, I try to keep up with laundry as well so that I don't have anything to wash when I get home.  This is all for self-preservation of course!

I do have a fast and steady rule I must follow when I get home, no matter the time of day...I have to unpack everything and put it into its proper place before I can go to sleep so you know unpacking is the very first thing I must do.  This is probably the worst part of coming home from a break.  Putting away everything from the suitcases always seems to take forever as if time is in a time-warp loop stuck on slow motion.

Of all the things I miss while I am away, I would say I miss my bed the most, we are very, very, very  good friends..I would even dare to say that my bed knows me the most...or at least it is where I spend a lot of my time when I am at home. Speaking of old friends, now that I am finally home..time to enjoy!

Ambition

I have noticed lately that I am surrounded by a lot of people who have no ambition..it is like they have accepted all the mediocracy in their lives and have even planted immovable roots in its ideology.

I guess if that was what they really wanted it wouldn't be that bad but this acceptance of mediocrity comes with a big heap of complaining about their own self-directed location.  Doesn't the mere act of complaining about something mean that you are not satisfied?

I am not sure that they really want to change their circumstances because they are truly content with the helplessness they have created themselves.  They only want to ask for opinions on how to change but only to listen to the cadence of the responses not to actually move in any particular direction. So what can you do?

You just have to accept that you are surrounded by a lot of people who have no ambition and it is not up to you to change their circumstances that is something only they can do.  If their complaining gets too much, toss them bone and maybe they will be ambitious enough to catch it or you can always slip on a pair of noise-cancelling headphones...

Imperfection

I have spent some time reading over my past blog posts and I can see a re-occurring theme...

I write a lot about discovering who you really are.  I wonder why that is so important for me to reveal.

I keep looking at myself in a mirror trying to discover something that I can't quite seem to capture.  I should just walk away but I am too obsessed in getting to the bottom of this mystery.

What happens when you learn something about yourself but you don't like what you see?  Is it self-reflection or is it self-hate.

You are always blaming me but I am always blaming myself.  It is just how it is.

I read a blog today about perfect imperfections and it made me think.  There is so much of my world that is imperfect and I am sure I could provide a very extensive list if you asked but no matter how imperfect my life is...isn't it just perfect for me?

Just when I feel like I have control everything starts to spiral away from me~ I really should just learn to accept it~ but the mere thought of conforming makes me want to keep delving deeper...

Is it possible to go too far?

I am feeling empty today but I have no one to blame but myself...my path, my choice...isn't that what I keep telling you~

Gratitude

I want to take a moment and thank you...for coming here and reading my blog. 

I know I say I write this just for me...but I will let you in on a little secret~ I have figured out that I am really doing it for the both of us...

I do write for myself because it helps me make sense of the world around me but I also have to come clean and admit that I enjoy that you are reading my words~ even if they just make you roll your eyes, it is nice to know I created a reaction in you...

I might not be able to make a big splash in the world but knowing that I can create a tiny ripple that really means something to someone else...is really enough for me to smile.

Thank you for walking with me on this journey~ I hope I can inspire you to create a tiny ripple of your own too~

Consuming

Hate is a pretty powerful thing but I am not sure you understand how much it really only hurts you...

When someone wrongs you, what do you do?  Don't your defenses begin to protect you...you build a wall. 

You retreat into the place you feel the safest and you start preparing for the war.  You stockpile as many weapons as you can to use against the one you hate. 

You are constantly thinking about your strategy to win. 

You may lose sleep, eat less, and even start spreading the seed of this persons  transgression to everyone because you think this may provide them protection~

You ultimately become consumed with the idea of this person's wrongdoings...the seeds of hate are growing strong in you...and you are blinded by this hated~ it has changed your entire world and you are surrounded in the darkness...

The person that caused all of this...they are living their life in the sun, smiling~ guilt-free for in their mind they have done nothing...all this only affects you...all the hurt and pain you are creating gives them the ultimate victory...and you handed it to them on a silver platter of hate~

The Toolbox

Recently I was asked to write about a nostalgic moment as a nod to "Throwback Thursday". 

When I was younger, I would spend a lot of my summers with my grandparents in Oklahoma.  They lived in a small rural town.  If you stood at one end of town and spit...you would probably hit the other side of it~

There was no glamour in my grandparent's old run-down property but it was filled with old treasures sealed behind cobwebs and rust just waiting to be discovered.

The thing my grandfather loved to do the most was go night fishing and when he went he always asked me to go with him. 

My grandfather would set out a container of chicken livers for days until it was completely covered in flies, because other than roadkill, it made the best bait for catfish'n. 

After the sun retired for the night, we would slip into his old ford pickup and head for his "favorite" fishing holes.  He didn't believe in wearing seatbelts and I remember holding on for dear life as the truck bounced across craters in the red dirt.

We would fish in the darkness of the night with only the moon and the occasional lightning bug illuminating the pond, We would sit in total silence for hours waiting for the catfish to bite.  Above all things, my grandfather taught me patience~and how to clean a catfish of course...

Before my grandfather passed, he gave me an old rusty red toolbox that he used as a tackle box,  For me,  when I think about my past...that toolbox is the thing that makes my heart smile the most~

Snowflakes

So how did I find myself chatting with you today....this is something some happy, positive, comfortable, slightly stressed and let's face it probably slightly horny person from chat~ brought up to me~ 

The timeless paradox of how two relatively intelligent people find themselves text to grins chatting on the internet ~ were we pre-destined to meet as part of some grand plan...or just happenstance like the formation of unique snowflakes~ you know...no two meetings are alike...something like that~

Well~ just think about the sheer number of people sorting that must have occurred...because, face it~ we don't chat with every person we meet~ maybe a "hey hi" and a passing hug~ but to delve deeper...what does it take for you to take the next step~ to move pass the small talk and leap into full blown idea exchange... what is it about you that made me step toward you~ what did you see in me that gave you confidence to reach out~

Are we looking for those that compliment or challenge us~ 

I guess the idea can't really be wrapped up into a neat and tidy package but it is something to think about...my fellow snowflake~

Wise Fool

A certain someone said this to me yesterday...."Some write because they have something to say; Some just because they have to say something"~

I know this is like a not really Plato quote that goes~ "Wise me speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something"

But it does make me think about my writing~ Am I Wise or a Fool?

I have always thought that I write for myself about things that cross my mind~ some silly and some serious~but always things that interest me...it is how I express the part of me that only a few get to see in real life~ so yes, damnit I have something to say~ so crown me wise as I bask in the irony of my cleverness~ but this does seem right~ Is this who I really am?

This is why I really think I am more of a fool~

Yes, there is pressure to keep writing ...even if it self-inflicted~

I do want to stay relevant and I believe that thinking that way makes me ponder..." Am I really writing for myself or for you, my reader...I can keep telling myself I do it for me~ but how long can you keep telling yourself these things.

Have I have become a slave to my own words~so maybe I am a little bit of both~ a foolish wise woman...

Belonging

So I have spent some time in the new place...and I am still not sure it is the place I want to be~

I enjoy meeting new people but I miss the fun of a group chat.  At the new place, it is difficult to jump in to the conversation at times.  Everyone seems to be fast friends but occasionally they might dangle you a bone by saying "hey" and acknowledging your presence but it is not an invite to the group conversation.

You have to insert yourself in it.  It is like double-dutch jump-roping~ knowing when to jump in and having the stamina to remain...that really takes a lot about of a person.   I have even had people ask if they know me~ because how dare I speak to someone that I don't know...so frustrating at times.

I am not ready to give up just yet~ it just makes me more determined...but there is still a lot I do not know.  I know there is a way to respond to an individual without typing their whole nick~ but I haven't figured it out yet~I tried the "Help" but frankly it isn't much help. 

I am still observing and still trying to fit in~ but I am finding myself questioning why, why am I even here with so much going on around me~ I guess it is just a place to escape for awhile...

I am looking for something...maybe I will find it here~

Something New

I decided to check out a new chat site today.  It was one that recommended by someone who use to chat in the same place as I did.  I am not sure I am ready for something new yet~ but I figured it wouldn't hurt to at least check it out~

I was able to register and update my profile easily.  I decided to keep the same chat nickname, Cherry_Licious.

Next, I had to make a decision about uploading my real pic for not.  So, I have a whole list of pros and cons on this particular topic.  I don't really have a problem with people knowing what I look like and actually I prefer people to know so they can get their judging out of the way.  Ultimately, I think for safety it is better to stay in the shadows.  I have to think of more than myself when it comes to being safe online.  In this day in age, it is better to err on the side of caution.

I think being too honest about my personal information has actually caused me to worry about my safety at times, especially when chatters have threatened my life~ by saying they know where I am and ~ or they want to mess with my job~

It is sad that I have to think about this because I am sure 84.2% of people are harmless and it doesn't matter if they know~but it is the other percentage you have to be careful about~

I am not sure how I feel about the new site.  I think I need to play with the setting a little more because I didn't like that 5 people were trying to talk privately with me~ I usually like to chat out in a lobby with a crowd instead of privately with one person~

I will give it a few more chances before making up my mind~ who knows maybe I will see you there~


Happy Chatting~~

Humanity

Today I had an interesting chat with a total stranger.  We talked about humanity and what is its biggest enemy.

It wasn't the conversation itself that I found interesting but the ideas that it sparked really made me wonder.

I know I live in an isolated reality.  The media only shows what they want you to know and that isn't necessarily the whole truth.  I tend to live my daily life in a bubble, only thinking about myself and my needs and not the needs of others half-way around the world.

I don't know when innocent people are killed unless it is brought up in the news or I hear someone talking about it.  I don't think I am alone.  I would expect most people are this way. 

The person I was talking too~ had a negative opinion of soldiers~ saying that they are brainless...I think he meant~ that they followed orders...which is the job of a soldier~ not think just to do~ killing when told to do so~ even if innocence gets in the way~

You have to look toward the leaders because they are they ones dictating the commands~ are the leaders good or evil~ I guess it really matters where you stand because perception is reality...not truth!

I don't think we ever came up with a true enemy of humanity.  We just scratched the surface...but now this idea is rolling down a hill~ and I am not sure it can be stopped~

What do you think...can it?

The image I selected makes you think...at times, Nature is the master of Humanity...and other times, Humanity certainly rule Nature~

Working

It is getting warmer so it is the perfect time to work outside.  There is something really amazing about building things with your own hands.  This year I have a simple project to create.  I am making a free-standing flower bed.  I want to add a barrel and hose system to catch rainwater and make the watering of plants in my garden much easier.

First I had to build the structure of the free-standing flower box.  Measuring, cutting, and assembling the wood took me longer than I had expected.  I even added wheels on the bottom to be able to more the flower box if needed.

After building the structure,  I lined the inside with plastic.  Now this sounded a lot easier in my head than it actually was.  I spent a lot of time fighting with this piece of troublesome plastic as it tried to fly free in the breeze.   I have decided that the wind is not my friend! 

After finally securing the plastic lining, I drilled a few holes in the bottom of the structure to let the water the drain.  I then filled the flower box with rocks and dirt.

The only thing I need to do is purchase the strawberries and get them planted.  I will work on the watering system later.  That is gonna take a little bit of planning and not this plan as you go process I used on building the structure~

I really enjoy building things with my own hands so I will set aside more time to do things that I enjoy doing~ shouldn't you do that as well?

Kindness

When you come online~ you create a whole persona for yourself...it doesn't necessarily mean it is a lie~ but it is how you interact with people, how much you tell about your real life, and how you treat others...


For me, my "Cherry" self is a little more outgoing then I really am...she is the person that will say whatever is on her mind...truly, I am shy with people I don't know and it takes some time before I show that part of me to others~

When I first came online, I told a lot about my true self...even sharing pictures...now I am more reserved in that area...I think mostly because there are real dangers out there and not everyone is looking out for my best interest.  I have also been threatened a lot in this place...I don't know why someone gets their thrills from trying to scare people and staying horrible things about them~

How do I treat others online~ I simply try to be nice ...and it is mostly because there is too much hate in this world...why spread it more of it online.  Have you ever heard the term...kill them with kindness?

I guess that makes me a horrible kind of person to some...I mean being nice to people can be a crime~but at the end of the day~ I have to face myself in the mirror...and I have to like what I am looking at...so as I have said before~ I am not here to please you...I am here for me~ and I think it is ok to be a little selfish in life...

Beyond the Rainbow

Have you ever thought about what you would do if you could get everything that you wanted?  If they had a book about doing this successfully, would you buy it?

Well, there are a lot of books out there on the topic.  They mostly give you advice about over coming obstacles, lessening fears, and simply, just persevering...

I often wonder if I would be happier if I were able to obtain more of my life goals or would I just keep adding more as I accomplished things.  I think by nature we are greedy and we always want what the other has...few find content in what they already have~ I wonder why this is...

Could it be that we really don't know what we need to truly be happy?  Do we just keep moving the finish line as we approach?

I am not sure that we are suppose to be completely happy with our lives~ I always seem to find myself trying to improve and challenge myself, of course...this could be because I will never be truly satisfied in life...

I do hope you find what you are looking for in life~ and that you can discover what really makes you happy~ I don't know if I will ever get there but there is always hope~ right? 

The Reaper

Have you received a call where someone on the other line tells you that someone very important to you may not make it through the night?  What do you do? 

You drop everything and get to the hospital as fast as you can~ that is what you do 

I got a call like that a few weeks ago and I would not wish it upon anyone.  I was told that a simple procedure had "complications"...and they didn't know if my loved one would make it through the night.  The problem~ I am 1300 miles away...

I took the first flight out and so many things were swimming around my head ...leaving work isn't an easy thing because I have to prepare plans for someone to take over and of course I have no idea how long I will be away.  I am lucky that I have colleagues that are willing to support me no matter what.

I had to prepare myself to see someone I love in critical condition and on life support.  I am hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.  I know what will happen has already been determined and I just have to be able to deal with it.  I know the road to recovery will take a lot of time. 

All that matters now, is that I am here...to face whatever comes my way...

My Response

Today I got a comment for my post "Hesitation" and I decided to respond in this post instead of in the comment section...

Here is what the comment from an Anonymous poster read "ever think it's not all about you.  after all these years, others might be running away from you? curious."~

Well, anonymous...I wonder why you think I think "it's all about me"~ is it because my blog focuses on my thoughts about things...perhaps you are right...the reason that is my perspective is because in your life the only thing you can control is "you"~ so blaming others would just be futile~

In a way~ this IS all about me...I realize that I am not the same person I was when I started this blog and if you read through it you can see my dramatic transformation over the years.  To think others are running away from me~ is almost laughable because in my life...I have been doing the running~ I left my family behind and moved far away to a place I hardly knew anyone~ I stayed with a cousin but even that didn't work out in the end~ and I ended up moving yet again until I was alone~and it wasn't until then~ that I started to change...for the better?  I guess that is just a matter of perspective~

I have learned that physical scars may fade but the emotional ones left never do~ and you can sit around feeling sorry for yourself or you can do something about it~ so my words are all about me~ and how I started to put the pieces of my life back together...and on this adventure I learned to love who I am along the way~ I really believe that you cannot truly love someone else until you learned this very important thing first.

So thinking about it~ YES!~ it is all about me~ and if others decide to run away from me~ there is really nothing I can do about it~ but lately~ they haven't been running away...the ones that truly matter are right by my side~ holding me up...

Curiosity is admirable if it comes from a good place~ but sending hurtful words disguised in a package of curiosity says a lot about about a person~ so I have to wonder ANONYMOUS poster, which describes you..step out of the shadows next time...you have nothing to fear from me~

I hope this answered your question...

Hesitation

The cold has settled in, and I am wrapped in a blanket typing this post...my mind really hasn't settled on a topic so this will probably just be me rambling~ so I guess that can be a topic...

Have you ever been a little scared to accomplish something you have been wanting to do for a long time? I have been feeling that way for a while now. 

I have been putting a lot of effort in over coming a major obstacle in my life and I can finally see the finish line just over the next hill~ but instead of running at full force...I have been taking a meandering stroll...trying to enjoy the last bit of freedom before I reach my goal. 

I am starting to second guess my decisions but I keep reminding myself that this is what I wanted to do...now all this hesitation has got me thinking...and everyones knows that can be a dangerous thing...and it all comes down to me really being afraid~ do I take a step forward or do I take a new path~

I know I will figure this out~ I just wish I could see the future just a little bit~ just a glimpse...so I can be more confident in my decision...so I guess it is time to put on the kettle and make some spiced tea~ at least I can stay warm~ even if my thoughts are a little cold...

The Fire

From a distance, you can see the flames as the fire dances seductively over all that you have.  It only takes an instance before everything is gone except the smoldering, scorched earth.

I know, sometimes that isn't enough, just to see something from a distance.  You have to hold back everything that stirs inside of you to walk towards the nothingness~but you still have see what is left...

But instead of running, pause~ allow yourself to hear what's really in your heart so that you can make the right decision for yourself...when facing two roads, always pick the more positive track...you can also put on your dreaming cap and imagine your new world~ visualize your potential and then take action..even though you may never be truly ready you still have to take a step forward~

You see, fire may destroy everything in its path, but it is only temporary.  The scorched land will undergo a series of changes.  Some plants will quickly take hold, gradually changing the landscape.  They will thrive there and slowly everything will return...but you should know that what comes backs may not resemble what was lost...

It is up to you to clear the clutter from your life to create a space for the new.  Stepping away for a moment may give you some perspective or even diving into something you have never done before can shake up things~ but you don't have to do anything...every moment is an opportunity to create the life that want~