I Swallowed

I swallowed gum today!

Remember all those lies your parents told when you were little. You believed them because, duh!, they are you parents and why would they lie to a sweet innocent little kid like you.

I believe parents make up these lies because they want to protect their children or it could just be a way of parents punking kids to get back at them~

I haven't figured it out yet, maybe after I have some children of my own, I will grace the door of parenthood with the manual in my arms and know all the truths of the world~




Lies my parents told me~

1. If you swallow gum it will never digest and it will stay in your body forever and ever.
2. If you cross your eyes, they will stick that way!
3. If you swallow watermelon seeds, you will grow a watermelon in your tummy (see look at the woman over there, she didn't listen!)
4. If you take two aspirins, you will prevent pregnancy. Put the two aspirins between your knees and don't let go.
5. If you are good, Santa will bring you lots of toys.
6. It hurts me more to spank you.
7. If you tell the truth, you will be in less trouble.
8. If you make that face, it will stay that way forever.
9. If you keep touching yourself there, it will shrivel up.
10. ...and they lived happily ever after...


Maybe you can think of a few things that I missed! Parents remember you kids rely on your words of wisdom~