From Muffins to Madness:Part 3

This is still a wild ride. There were a lot of good things about my slacker chat weekend but there was also things that were not so great. I don't know how people can chat like I did this weekend and not be affected. I was people deprived being home alone, sleep deprived (running on less than 4 hours of sleep) and maybe even sense deprived (holding a personal chat record with myself).

Whatever it was, it took me to a few low place. I was doing the usual chat. I was flirting a little but really nothing compared to the previous night. Caution: High School Drama ahead:

I got between a so-called chat couple. The guy started chatting me up and the girl got extremely jealous or was pretending to be and then it turned real, really fast. I become the bitch whore slut who is always taking other peoples bfs. The guy asked me if he should be allowed to talk to me and his gf in a public place. I of course said, yes because all we were doing was chatting in full view of everyone. It wasn't like there was anything happening. I had no idea this guy had any attachments to girls in the room and his talking to me was in no way my fault unless I am faulted for responding. I do not ask guys if they are in a committed relationship when I am just saying hey hi. I believe gfs should trust their guys and if they are proven to be jerks then break up. This was not like I knew they were a couple and I was trying to "get" him. She was just mad because he was paying me some attention instead of her.

Now, please know this stuff doesn't usually get to me but it is very close to the bad drama I was trying to avoid in real life. In the middle of this high school drama, I lost it. It was the madness of the day and the silence of the house. I stood among a room full of familiar strangers and no one was there for me. No one had my back. Fighting back tears, at the hate spinning around the room and the hurt and anger pulsing through me...I paused and made a choice. I wasn't going to let this be my end to chat.

I searched for just one friendly face and in that moment, I needed that more than anything and without it I would have been truly lost. I just need this time to get back on the horse, and gather my weapon of choice. I am not sure if anyone knew how those moments affected me or really cared but I hate to admit there is something real about this fake world of chat. I ended the day in the wee hours of the morning after several more exciting and crazy things happened but this adventure is already 3 posts. There is still one more day but I am trying to be less of a slacker.